2nd Time Around

I don't know why our children came to us in two families...we didn't really plan to leave 11 years between our two sets of kids, but that's the way it happened. It's been a challenge and a blessing. Our two older kids are definitely to be pitied, as they were certainly guinea pigs and experimental projects because we were such young parents without a clue. But in some ways, knowing less at the time may have benefitted them. They moved us from a young couple to a family and we all sort of grew up together.

But our 2nd set of kids is also at a disadvantage, because we are no longer young, naive parents -- we've definitely been around the block and have a different perspective on 'innocent' requests to spend the night at a friend's house (as someone is squirreling away extra rolls of toilet paper and a dozen eggs are missing from the fridge). And, now we know that having our kid be in every activity, at every birthday party, in every sport, at every special event -- is maybe not so important in the long run. And dad is now an official marriage and family therapist, so that plays into it. We've learned a thing or two, to their benefit and/or detriment.

So, we have less patience...and more tiredness, more leniency, more steadfastness. We have more awareness of time flying by, less crying over spilled milk, and more calm amid the storms. We have a little more financial stability, and less desire to buy everything the kids want. We have less energy, but more desire to take advantage of every opportunity of time. It takes more to negotiate with us, and we have less concern about what friends and neighbors think.

The older kids are convinced the younger ones are spoiled ("a 13-year old gets a phone?!") The younger ones look at the older ones and think they have it made to be 'done with living at home' and out there living their lives.

We can't win either way, we are just here watching the show...