This has been a week! In the last FOUR days, there have been some rollercoaster emotions running wild. I would blame it on menopause or something, but I'm not there yet. So it must just be LIFE.
Tuesday a friend of mine called and told me about the results of her breast biopsy -- it's cancer. She goes in in a few days for a partial mastectomy, and then she must do chemo/radiation. My heart breaks for her. She has a child in college and a senior in high school. She's a strong person, she'll make it through this.
Tuesday I visited with another friend at length about our lives. She is a single mom who is dealing with some very trying circumstances with her daughter. She's doing a great job, and I wish she could stop beating herself up about not providing the 'ideal' home life. Her daughter is surrounded by love, security, the gospel, and people who adore her. But I could also empathize with her to an extent because I have a daughter who I also wish things could be different for. I wish we could go back and change some things from her childhood, and I wish we could quit second-guessing ourselves about situations (and decisions and non-decisions and frustrations and efforts and successes and failures and lack of knowledge and inability to control things...) when she was growing up. Someday things will all make sense...but in the meantime, it was good to share deep emotions and common ground.
Yesterday my #3 child, Grayson brought home the proofs for his Senior pictures. Besides the fact that he is (of course) dashing and handsome and gorgeous, does the GRAVITY of that strike you like it does me?? His...SENIOR...PICTURES. My 'young' family is not so young any more. Somehow having grown kids has always been a little easier because we still had the 'little' kids at home. NOT SO for very much longer. It sent me into sort of a deep ponder-mode.
Today I had to give a very important presentation to our new CEO. I have known about this for a couple of weeks, and have spent an incredible amount of time in preparation. I had to give an overview of our entire department to introduce him to what we do, our theories, WHY we do it, and our plans for the future. It was very involved and very high-pressure to do this right, and involved PowerPoint, Prezi, and technology that I'd rather not have to depend on. I felt great about where I was with the assignment until I talked to my boss, Jon, Tuesday and he had just spent the weekend at a leadership summit with the CEO and said he 'asks more questions than anyone I have ever met.' So he was preparing me to BE PREPARED for that. That made me totally paranoid, and I spent 23 of the last 48 hours at the office making sure I had all my ducks in a row for the presentation. I had more backup information than a team of lawyers would need. Well...today was the meeting, and it went very well. There WERE a million questions, but I was able to answer them with ease, and just have a couple of follow-up things to get for him. Jon was ecstatic, told me it was 'outstanding' and 'excellent!' And that in all the presentations he's been in so far with this new CEO, the guy has never said 'good job' or given any kind of positive reinforcement in any of those. But...he said 'good job' to me TWICE on his way out the door. PANIC, FEAR, OVERWHELMEDNESS, ETC! Followed immediately by permeating relief, satisfaction and exhaustion. (And the need for an oxygen mask and a diet Dr. Pepper)
And mom had kidney stone surgery this morning, and although all went well it's always stressful and worrisome when someone goes under the knife. A little extra pressure about that, but feeling blessed that all is well, and she and dad should still be able to come out for Christmas.
I feel like I have swung high, low, sideways and upside down in the past four days. Glad the week's almost over, counting my blessings, praying for my friends & family, and hoping for a bright tomorrow.
